Gary Brooks Faulkner and his Deadly Mission to Kill Osama

Tom Mendelsohn

garyfaulkner 267x300 Gary Brooks Faulkner and his Deadly Mission to Kill OsamaYesterday, I brought you the news that a middle-aged American man was detained in Pakistan earlier this week, on a mission to finish the job his Government couldn’t: to assassinate Osama bin Laden.

Everything about the tale was a gift: he was apprehended with a pistol, night-vision gear, some heavy Christian reading material and a 40″ sword. Details were sketchy though. We knew he’d been found in the remote Chitral region of Pakistan, and we knew he’d been out there several times previously, presumably on reconnaissance trips, but there wasn’t much else to go on. Some say he’s 50, others say he’s 52.

Overnight (or ‘day’ as they call it in American time zones) though, the good old blogosphere did what it does best, and rooted out plenty of additional information, including a police mugshot taken in 2006 at Larimer County Sheriff’s Office in Port Collins, Colorado. Without wanting to sound too disrespectful, he does seem the type…

More interesting though is an article in the New York Daily News, which suggests that while Bin Laden may once have been hiding in Chitral, a very mountainous region in northwest Pakistan, he probably isn’t there any more. It used to be very remote, and was usually blocked off by snowfall in the Winter, making it a great hideout for brigands for thousands of years, right up until the point that the Pakistani government built a major new road tunnel right into the heart of the area.

Meanwhile 4Chan, a messageboard playing host to a loose affiliation of internet troublemakers, and to whom I am not linking, are claiming they’re responsible for Faulkner’s mission. This image should explain, if you can stomach all the rude words and in-jokes. In case you don’t understand, they’re alleging that Faulkner himself asked them for advice on a potential assasination mission a few months ago. This request sparked a lot of replies, including ‘make sure you bring a big sword’, a tip he seems to have heeded.

There are further titbits on offer too: the Pakistan Daily Dawn newspaper said Faulkner had admitted to police that he wanted to ‘decapitate Osama bin Laden’. His brother, speaking at a news conference in Colorado, claims that Faulkner ‘loves adventure’ and had planned to collect reward money for killing bin Laden, which he would then use to help people in Central America. ‘He’s not crazy,’ he stressed, unconvincingly.

Faulkner – who was swiftly dubbed ‘the American Ninja’ by a slightly unkind US press – is now in police custody in Peshawar. Bin aden remains on the loose, and he still has an £18m bounty on his head, if you’re interested.

  • Neil McGowan

    These are the *real* religious fundamentalist whackjobs.

  • Neil McGowan

    These are the *real* religious fundamentalist whackjobs.

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