One Week Into The World Cup of Nonsense

Seven days into the 2010 World Cup and it’s been a long week for anyone seeking a story of any football worth. First, of course, came the trumpets. I like to think my first blog put me slightly ahead of the curve on what would become an international, committed onslaught of abuse for the humble vuvuzela. What has been worse than the moronic, droning sound of the massed instruments has been the moronic, droning response to the racket.

Amongst the vuvuzela drivel I found one note of comfort in the sudden, unexpected arrival of patriotism. Who would have thought that Scotland would grandly insert itself into this important World Cup debate? Step forward the magnificent Margo MacDonald MSP, an independent Scottish politician who I suppose should be called a maverick, who came out this week to demand that the SPL ban vuvuzelas from the country’s stadiums.

“There is no intention on my part to limit the enjoyment of other fans”, generously conceded MacDonald, “But as is obvious from the mounting level of complaint, I think there is justification for the SPL to consider the matter before it becomes a problem here”.

MacDonald, who also told a presumably bewildered SPL that the vuvuzela is “really annoying”, managed a nice one-two with her statement – guiding the vuvuzela debate to a suitably surreal conclusion while surely smashing the opportunistic reputation of your average politician.

North Korea were the grumpy source of much of the rest of the week’s gibberish with their admittedly bonkers manager being gleefully ripped apart by the press before the obviously false story that four of their players had “gone missing” zipped round the world before FIFA got round to admitting a transcription error.  

Watching their game against Brazil on ESPN America I listened to commentators Martin Tyler and Ally McCoist shoot the breeze on the political division of Korea. Tyler mentioned that South Korea’s Park Ji Sung had voiced his wish that during the World Cup the players from the South could “get together and get to know” their North Korean neighbours. After a short pause, Tyler mysteriously whispered “maybe we should all be getting together a bit more”. Perhaps he was dropping a tip to legendary swordsman McCoist perched beside him. If he was it was missed with McCoist returning to the point in hand by declaring that, when it comes to the World Cup, North Korea’s issues with the wider world should “go out the window”.

Throw in Robbie Earle’s “girls”, the crafty Germans’ use of the Jabulani ball in the Bundesliga and near-constant confusion about the effects of altitude on the human body and so far it’s been a World Cup of petty, ill-informed, childish commentary. I’m just glad that this blog fights so determinedly against that trend.

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