Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels?

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. This is one of those times.

You’ve all heard the saying, as muttered famously by a certain Miss.Moss – but upon pondering over some of the ‘recipes’ I came up with over years of this said thinness, I am pleased to announce – shock, horror – that it is a load of complete, utter bollocks. Here, friends, is my Top Ten ‘Thin’ Tasty Concoctions – enjoy…

1. Celery stick with a squidge of tomato puree along the middle
2. Sugarfree jelly
3. Party plate of raw beansprouts dipped in ketchup
4. 10 calorie ’soups’ (thank YOU Tesco)
5. Blanched spinach with a tsp curry paste
6. Crispbread with a slither of hummus (the anorexic alternative to ryvita)
7. Sultanas (high calorie but muchly needed for the dodgy digestive system)
8. Porridge oats or Special K with water (I even experimented with Diet Coke as a milk substitute)
9. Sugarfree boiled sweets (great for the most awful farts you will ever smell, ever)
10. Air

Dear Lord, wouldn’t get very far on Masterchef with that menu of treats would you? Just a little reminder that no matter how good it feels to lose a few lbs and fit into that pair of skinny jeans that have been hiding at the back of the wardrobe – extreme dieting is probably one of the most boring things you could ever do. Don’t go there kids. I know it’s in the news every bloody day at the moment – we’re all too fat, we can’t eat what we want even if we’re pregnant, we’re obese, then fat, but which is right? Argh – endless.

Diets are BORING. Pizza does taste a million miles better than ‘thin’ feels, and (little secret), once hooked into losing weight, it’s never enough anyway. Satisfaction does not coming running with bells on its fingers and toes.

Enjoy yourselves.

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• davdos

  Want to get slim? Try steaming your veg and fish and adding tasty olive oil and herb based sauces. Scoff as much of this as you like. Still hungry? Then have one large whole meal roll with strong cheese.

• http://www.super-pa.net SuperPA

  Can’t give up my bacon – LOL

• Chippychap

  “Crispbread with a slither of hummus (the anorexic alternative to ryvita)”
  SLITHER? Nah. Buy a dictionary.
  Apparently some girls are eating cotton wool which swells in the stomach and gives the feeling of being full. They must also stuff it into their heads.