It may be ‘Grim up North’ but at least we’re not bitter

Sebastian Shakespeare has a lot to get off his chest, so as a Londoner writing about the BBC’s move to Salford’s MediaCity, it is more than somewhat understandable, not to mention awfully predictable, that he should take out his anger on the grim north. His article for the London Evening Standard on the move is a cringe inducing attack on Manchester and Salford in that it is so blatently sucking up to Peter Salmon, the director of BBC North who doesn’t want to live there. “My heart goes out to him… the move was always a complete charade…The BBC, for all its faults (overpaid executives, repetitive schedules, exorbitant licence fee), is still a jewel in our crown. And it should be kept in the same city as the Crown Jewels.” Seriously, get over yourself. I think that even if I was reading as a Londoner, this mini rant would come across as desperate, pathetic and ill-informed, leaving me wondering whether Seb has even spent any time in the shithole he is trying to describe.

His argument is based on the fact that Peter Salmon has decided not to relocate his family from “leafy” Twickenham to anywhere within the vicinity of Salford. I am pretty sure that this decision was based on more than just a Londoners natural hatred of all things Northern – (the fact that he was born in Burnley hardly has any bearing on whether or not he would enjoy living in the city, especially as he has been London-based for the last two decades) – I too would question moving an entire family so far. After all, he has one son with his current wife Sarah Lancashire, who has two sons from a previous marriage, and his own three sons from a previous relationship – of course this is all irrelevant when slagging off the North.

On he goes… “The North may no longer be grim, or as grim as it used to be, but it is still wetter than the South (indisputable fact). And it’s not London (another indisputable fact). Who wouldn’t want to live in our great metropolis? I have nothing against Northerners apart from their inferiority complex about the capital which they nurse like a centuries-old grudge.” Yes, it may be a few shades greyer and we may have more than our fair share of precipitation, but the majority of us are probably GLAD it isn’t London, many of us wouldn’t want to live in “our great metropolis” because we are accepting of the flaws and we don’t care if it’s raining – it’s kind of endearing.

“Now, I don’t care what the weather man says
When the weatherman says it’s raining
You’ll never hear me complaining, I’m certain the sun will shine
I don’t care how the weather vane points
When the weather vane points to gloomy
It’s gotta be sunny to me, when your eyes look into mine”

So shut up. At least Mancunians make eye contact. At least it isn’t unusual to recieve a smile from a stranger. And finally, at least it isn’t full of Sebastian Shakespeares.

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