What Fifa said and what they really mean

Years of political jostling, extensive inspections and more scandals than you could shake a handbag at have been boiled down to an easy to consume, GCSE style list of pros and cons for each World Cup bid.

But what do the pros and cons tell us about Fifa’s thoughts? Let us elaborate…

Fifa’s thoughts on England:
Good points: Transport, stadia, IT, security, marketing, legacy.
Bad points: Too few venue-specific training sites or venue-specific team hotels, too few training base camp hotels.

What they really mean:
England’s bid is excellent, but we’ve been told we have to come up with a few negative aspects. So we came up with some babble about ‘venue-specific training sites’. We’re not sure what that means, but it sounds like we gave it some thought.

Fifa’s thoughts on Spain/Portugal
Good points: Stadia, transport, hotels, legacy.
Bad points: Lack of clear security plan, co-hosting “a challenge”.

What they really mean:
We felt ‘challenge’ was the most polite way of saying that the Spanish and Portuguese can’t stand each other.

Fifa’s thoughts on Russia:
Good points: 13 planned new stadia, hotels, legacy.
Bad points: Huge transport challenge and major building programme needed.

What they really mean:
Under bad points we wanted to put ‘13 planned new stadia’, but we thought that would look lazy.

Fifa’s thoughts on Qatar:
Good points: Novel approach to World Cup, legacy, new stadia.
Bad points: June/July heat “potential health risk”, 12 stadiums located within a 20-mile radius.

What they really mean:
This bid is insane. It will be approximately the same heat as the sun and there’s no way either Sepp Blatter, or the rest of the ‘Fifa family’ for that matter, will be able to handle it. Very novel though.

Fifa’s thought on Australia:
Good points: Legacy, security, stadia, transport infrastructure.
Bad points: Shortage of contracted hotel rooms, transport challenges, risk of reduction in European and American TV income.

What they really mean:
The Australian’s have failed to grasp that the World Cup is a license to print money.

The announcement on who has won the right to host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups will be made on 2 December.

Recent Posts on Sport

• On The Road at the Giro d'Italia: It sounds sadistic, but the team live for the mountain stages
• iBet: Rose has the ammunition for Wentworth
• Brits on fire in the wet at Le Mans!
• iBet: Bale and Rooney transfer specials
• A changing of the guards in English football: From Sir Alex Ferguson to Jose Mourinho

• davedavenotdave

  What they say: ‘blah blah blah’.
  What they really mean: ‘it goes to whoever can stuff the most cash in a brown envelope’.

• http://www.propertyleadersuk.com property lady

  “legacy” seems to be in the good points for all the countries – does FIFA know what it means, or did they just stick it in because they thought it sounded good? Forgive me for being ignorant. What is Australia’s legacy, that country is a baby in comparison? What is Qatar’s legacy?