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Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fans

Simon Rice

Today is December 1st which means we’re reaching that traditional time of year when panic buying of Christmas presents becomes as prevalent as ‘Steve Kean out’ banners at Ewood Park.

It’s highly likely that one of you’re loved ones will be a football fan, so what better gift than something football related? It certainly gives that air of having put some thought into it.

Flicking through the Fulham merchandise catalogue earlier today, I found the usual, but rather uninspiring gift ideas varying from key rings and scarves to golf ball and replica shirts. But towards the back pages, there were some rather more unusual ideas – one of which was a gnome depicting Fulham’s chairman Mohamed Al Fayed, while the other also featured the former Harrods owner – on a postcard, with his head photoshopped onto a body builder’s frame with the words ‘Full Mo-nty!’ written on it. How strange. But surprisingly, not the strangest football gift idea for this Christmas.

So for anyone finding it as tough to find gifts as it is squeezing a league cup match into the fixture schedule, here are some alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fans – whether you have the budget of Macclesfield Town or Manchester City…

fulham 150x150 Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fansMohamed Al Fayed postcard
What’s more in the Christmas spirit than an Egyptian billionaire’s head on a naked torso?
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Manchester City dartboard (Carlos Tevez picture not included)
You would hope the irony of selling a dartboard was not lost on Manchester City considering the exploits of the one and only Mario Balotelli earlier this season.
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wembley 150x150 Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fansWembley Way stone
Varying in prices from £50 to £495, you can ‘be a part of history’ according to the Wembley Stadium website by purchasing a stone on the famous walkway to the national stadium, complete with your own engraved message.
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St James’ Park (or is that Sports Direct Arena?) stadium sign
Earlier this year the Magpies sold the letters spelling Newcastle United which used to adorn the East Stand of their stadium. The auction on ebay ended in October but keep an eye out, as should the original purchasers realise they don’t really have anywhere to put the 6ft high letters, they may just return to the auction website in time for Christmas.
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walcott 150x150 Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fansTheo Walcott action figure
This Theo Walcott action figure has spring loaded kicking leg, movable arms, legs and knees. What it doesn’t have is any resemblance to the England winger.
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Danny Dyer’s Funniest Football Foul-Ups
I’m not proud of it, but I’ve seen this DVD. The perfect gift for any mug, it’s presented by ‘cockney hardman’ Danny Dyer, and is surprisingly funny, albeit for all the wrong reasons… you slag.
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spurs 150x150 Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fansSpurs souvenir seed pack
This grass seed pack being sold on Tottenham Hotspur’s official website will allow you to ‘grow the same hallowed turf that Spurs play their home games on’ according to the write up.
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Chokers – the ref
If your name is Lady Ferguson, then this is certainly the ideal gift for your husband. Straightforward to use (“Simply grab this choker by the neck and shake some sense in to him!”), this is apparently the ultimate in anger management for any armchair football fan disgruntled at the men in black.
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united 150x150 Alternative Christmas gift ideas for football fansManchester United Eau De Toilette
“Smell like Paul Scholes” with “a hint of glory hunter” the description doesn’t read. What the Premier League champions know about fragrance I have no idea. Probably about as much as Katie Price, Bruce Willis, P Diddy or any other celebrity who has put their name on a fragrance bottle.
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Grass football
Apparently this grass-print camouflage football was trialed by Fifa but Sepp Blatter thought the Jabulani would be an even funnier football to use at the 2010 World Cup. Brings a new meaning to the ’spot the ball’ competition.
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