The Banned List: scientifically proven to make life better
The time has come to add another 10 items to the Banned List. I told Padraig Reidy that the Committee would not accept “drink the Kool-Aid” because, although it is a cliché in America it is simply baffling to most people over here, who have forgotten the story of Jim Jones in Guyana, and is therefore rare. He persisted, however, and the ruling Politburo reluctantly agreed to put it out for consultation.
Then came Emily Bell in The Guardian last night, writing about the “ingestion of Google Kool-Aid”. Not just because I am a great admirer of Google, the phrase is now banned. Inevitably, in conducting its consultation, the Commissariat discovered that there is some doubt about whether the toxic cocktail (see number eight) drunk by the Jonestown cultists actually contained Kool-Aid rather than a cheaper substitute.
Anyway, here are the 10 new words and phrases on the Banned List, never to be typed or spoken again:
- “Here’s the thing.” Nominated by Bernard.
- Scientifically proven. Sam Freedman.
- In harm’s way. Paul Vallely.
- Trope. Andrew Denny.
- Reset button. Rewind the tape.
- “Sorry, but …” to start a headline. Lynsey Hopkins.
- Unlock potential. Nick Davies.
- Toxic cocktail. Daniel Hannan.
- (Only) one thing is certain. Amol Rajan. Especially when followed with ‘only time will tell’; or ‘there are no easy answers’.
- ‘Drink the Kool-Aid,’ or any metaphorical reference to the American soft drink. Padraig Reidy.
If Kraft Foods, the makers of Kool-Aid, would like to sponsor number 10, my email is on the blog header.banned list
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