Barking Blondes: Why men with dogs are appealing, but ones who won’t castrate them aren’t
If the fifth series of Mad Men is slightly disappointing for one reason. Don Draper no longer owns a dog. His new marriage and consequent move to Manhattan has resulted in the family’s golden retriever being written out of the show. An actor’s life is cruel. Even if you are a natural blonde with big brown eyes and four legs.
The actor John Ham, who plays Draper, has long been voted as one of the sexiest men on television. We attended a Q and A with him at a London cinema where his attraction became even more lethal when he started to talk about the love he has for his own dog. He then went on to explain how he had rescued him and at that point, three girls in the front row fainted. Well almost. They swooned.
Why is it that men with dogs are sexier than men without dogs?
Whilst walking on Primrose Hill this week, a silver haired gent in cashmere approached us with a cute frenchie trotting by his side. It was the fact that the three of us all owned bull breeds that linked us together. No other introduction was needed. We chatted away spontaneously until his cheeky charge shot off at a dangerous gallop and disappeared on to the main road.
We all took chase and ran towards the park gate, fearing the worst. What confronted us as we turned the corner still seems like a mirage.
A large troop of the ColdstreamGuards were stood to a halt, plumes and tails blowing in the wind. The frenchie was darting between their legs but neither horse nor soldier moved. Apparently these marvelous beasts are trained to stand still and not to budge when stray dogs randomly run towards them. Which occurs frequently when on exercise.
Our new silver haired friend, along with ourselves, crawled around the stationary horses legs in a desperate attempt to retrieve his dog. Once attached back on to his lead, the army marched on.
We had only just met, however – this bonding episode would leave any manufactured Speed Dating event floundering. Dogs are great pulling devices. Forget dating websites. Just offer to walk your neighbour’s dog.
That said, all species are subject to humiliation.
“Since Bruce has been castrated he pees throughout the night”, complained a caller to our radio show.
Bruce, we discovered, was a staffie and obviously indignant that his daily amourees had been abruptly curtailed. We suggested a return to the vet to check that his recent op wasn’t to blame.
This side effect is extremely rare. It is usually a positive and recommended move to castrate your dog. Although, a staggering number of men believe chopping off their dogs balls is akin to chopping off their own. There is a well known tabloid journalist whose bull terrier’s scrotum would compare favourably with two footballs. This fine dog is quite challenging in his behavior and full to the brim with testosterone. When we asked if he had ever thought of neutering,the journo replied “Can’t do it mate. Couldn’t do it to him”.
They make a fine pair!
Finally, if you are a fan of Downton Abbey, the bustling cook, Mrs Patmore, played by Lesley Nicol, is a regular guest on our show.
She is a great champion and ambassador for Medical Detection Dogs. When she’s not bent over a hot range in mob cap and pinny, she and her husband are constantly celebrating their affinity with dogs. She confides “The way to a mans heart is not always through his stomach”.
Barking at the Moon is on BBC London 94.9 every Thursday 10pm-midnightTagged in: barking at the moon, barking blondes, dogs, Mad Men
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