Barking Blondes: Booby snacks, talking tripe and canine cakes

On Wednesday, during “face down dog asana “in our regular yoga class, two Swedish meatballs fell from one of our bras – thus exposing the hiding place for dog treats. More conventional owners favour dried morsels in a bum bag. However, we believe, the brassiere is accessible and meatballs more nutritious.

Our two dogs Molly and Matilda have never eaten processed dog food. Consequently, they don’t give off that dog meaty smell so often associated with dog breath. Both of us have had, in our own lives, tricky relationships with food so it was inevitable we were going to be vigilant when it came to what we fed our pets. Knowledge, in this area, really is power. As with humans, so many allergies, behavior and digestive problems can be assisted with a proper diet.

It’s a standing joke with family and friends that Molly and Matilda have grown up on a diet based on raw, green tripe. Yes it’s a bit smelly and, yes, it’s not always easy to purchase unless you do your research, but it’s incredibly cheap and full of goodness. It also has the added bonus that enzymes within it actually help clean teeth.

If you open our freezer, there is a teddy bear (freezing them keeps moths at bay) and five layers of frozen tripe. No human food .We may dress like dogs’ dinners but our dogs’ dinners come first.

We add fruit, vegetables and occasionally yoghurt to the offal but that is it. If you choose to follow our delicious doggy diet PLEASE don’t microwave the tripe as one of our poor listeners did. The smell is horrendous and will permeate the air for days.

Dog food is a lucrative industry. How often do you see a new puppy owner, struggling out of the breeders or the vets with bags of recommended dry food?

Getting a puppy’s diet correct is tricky. Their digestive system is fragile and it needs the correct combination of vitamins and minerals but surely these are best obtained from fresh sources early on in their lives?

Eve and her Yorkie, Sally, are both getting on in years and we meet them most days during their constitutional in Regents Park. Eve has cooked an evening meal for her dog every night of its life. She admits that whilst Sally is dining on minced beef and green beans, she herself, due to economics, must settle for spaghetti on toast. It’s debatable as to which of these elderly ladies has the glossiest coat!

Burlesque performer Lady Alex from London’s café de Paris, packs fresh sardines in her Chihuahua’s lunch. Essential fish oils help this tiny performer’s limbs to keep supple and dance perfectly ( the Chihuahua not Lady Alex).

For the busy dog owner, last year Pimlico hosted London’s first ever pop up dog diner . Pooches could choose from ‘today’s specials’ on a blackboard and were encouraged to share tables as in any other busy café.  There was a garden area out back with parasols and a smoothie bar. It was an instant success, so why hasn’t some groovy entrepreneur invested in a permanent version?

This year, we are already seeing the popularity in designer doggy cake companies, who use healthy ingredients, such as liver and spinach, to tempt any birthday party for mutts. It’s far more healthy than feeding them biscuits from your own tin.

And when the sun eventually shines, canine ice cream and sorbets are now available in carrot and apple. In fact, there is an ice cream van selling K99’s  at a park near you. Chicken flavoured . Yum! Yum! Woof! Woof!

‘Barking at the Moon’ airs on Thursdays from 10pm-midnight on BBC London 94.9 FM

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• http://www.facebook.com/lady.alex.77 Lady Alex

  Aww ladies thanks for the mention. Roxy still loves her Sardines. Keeps her coat glossy and her teeth strong. She’s a proper little show dog. Keep up the good work we love reading this pages. Woof Woof. xx

• Gizwiz

  There was a very intersting TV programme on the other night called ‘the Men who Made us Fat ‘ (or something like that!) about the human food industry and the evils of the high sugar, high carb diets (which really began in the 70’s) on human obesity levels and illnesses. It would appear we then made exactly the same mistakes with the way we feed our pets. The people who keep banging on about low-fat diets being better for us are probably wrong too and that it is the refined sugars/carbs in processed foods which have a lot to answer for in terms of both diabetes and heart disease levels. People need to ask themselves, why – when we have more information about food and nutrition than ever before – are we and our pets still getting fatter??

• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=522031054 Linda Morris

  BBC PLEASE CAN YOU DO A TV SHOW , WITH THE BARKING BLONDES. WHILE IT’S GREAT ON RADIO, IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC ON TV. YOU REALLY ARE MISSING A TRICK HERE.

• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1260183489 Sharon Webley

  I had one dog that had an allergic reaction to any meat. It made him aggressive, even one little titbit. Had to put him on a vegetarian complete food, and while he was on it, he was fine, but if someone slipped him a piece of sausage or anything when we were training, he would become aggressive.

• http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-C-Chamberlain/1241322314 Karen C Chamberlain

  RAW RAW RAW all the way with Veggies and a few fishy oils is so amazy for you your doggy and so much better for them…If you feed dry only it’s like us easting Pot Noodles or any other dehydrated food without the water, you can imagine how we would feel and be gulping down the water and our bellies swelling oh no! Not for me or my fur kiddies I thank you…RAW RAW RAW! Yes we need another Doggy Restaurant and party centre for all our babies, please someone do it and do it quick lol WOOF WOOF LADIES! PS Don;t forget the London Canine Games in London E2 7th July 2012…Fun Dog Show, Opening PArade, fun and games all for the love of the dog and charity mate! So search Canine Games on FB get your tickets and come on down and have a fun filled day with us all xxxxx