Is it a turd? is it a brain? no it’s Waitrose’s new mutant fruit
Today on my desk, I received a delightful surprise. The offering (see picture), from Waitrose, resembles a mouldy turd, but is in fact a delicious fruit; a kiwi fruit. Or, more precisely, several conjoined kiwi fruit, locked together in an eternal symbiotic embrace. It is, presumably, for when one kiwi fruit is just not enough to sate your hunger and only a giant mutated kiwi fruit will do.
A press release from Waitrose says the odd appearance of the ineptly-named “butterfly kiwi” is not due to Frankenstein-like experimentation, but they are in fact ”grown naturally on sun-kissed vines in Southern Italy and their remarkable shape is created by a disruption during pollination.”
Possibly the most disturbing element of the fruit, is the nobbly spine that runs across its curved length, with the texture of gravel, and resembling a badly-stitched wound. yummy. Butterfly Kiwi will be available in selected Waitrose branches from 5 December, priced at 90p each. Thank you Waitrose, I hope Santa puts some in my stocking.
But it doesn’t stop there, Father Christmas’ sack excreted several other treasures this morning, including this delightful Christmas card / advent calendar (see below). Infinitely more preferable to the Kiwi of Doom, it features a Christmas tree and a jolly Mario with Santa hat to promote the new Paper Mario game (which I played very briefly last week and it’s quite retro and fun). There’s nothing that says Seasonal Greetings quite like a mid-Eighties cult platform game character.bizarre, christmas, fruit, fruit friends, kiwi, mutant, odd, silly, superfruit, waitrose, WTF
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