Review of Made in Chelsea – Series 5, Episode 1

Daisy Wyatt
made in chelsea 300x225 Review of Made in Chelsea   Series 5, Episode 1

(Channel 4)

SPOILERS: Do not read this if you have not seen series 5, episode 1 of ‘Made in Chelsea’

The recession has finally hit Chelsea. Jamie is forced to stop staying in £2,000 per night hotel rooms, Mark Francis has got a J.O.B and the SW3 gang venture away from the pricey King’s Road for night out in the gritty depths of north London.

But the apparent need to cut back on the disposable cash has resulted in these Sloane rangers trying to be trendy. Louise now has dip-dye hair (and a Scouse brow), Lucy was wearing an American Apparel hoodie, Francis rode a skateboard to sign his flat contract, and Mark Francis has donned the double denim (“When in NW1!”).

Made in Chelsea series five is back on our screens again with 12 episodes of awkward silences, vacuous conversations, un-focussed eyes and relationship woe.

Spencer and Louise continue their angst from where we left off at the end of the last series. Mewing Louise has pathetically taken love rat Spencer back, despite knowing he has cheated on her. In the words of Mille Mackintosh: “I want her to respect herself more than that” (but then, we can’t all be happily engaged to Professor Green).

But obviously it is Spencer who’s the real villain here: deflecting his guilt about the whole affair onto Louise and Francis Boulle.

Take this manipulative interchange as a case in point:
Spencer: “I made a mistake that I think is normal”
Louise: “It’s like you’re saying cheating is normal”
Spencer: “You’re literally just twisting my words”

Although to give credit where it’s due, Spenny did come out with some corking one-liners in this episode, calling Boulle: “An absolute t**t, like proper A-grade d**k head” and later “the definition of a bell-end”.

The boys’ bromance (besides the Spenny-Boulle spat) continues to provide a never-ending source of amusement and joy. The affectionate nickname “Proodster” for Proudlocked cropped up for the first time; and huge smiles erupt onto their faces whenever Jamie walks into the shot. The same could not be said for poor Francis when Ollie walked swarthily into Barfly nightclub in Camden dressed in an 80s monochromatic sweatshirt with LOVE emblazoned on it. It emerged that Ollie has indeed found LOVE with Francis’ former flame Ashley. The couple win the award for awkward moment of the show when a very-almost-naked Ollie asked Ashley if the sex was alright, to which she flashed a toothy grin and said nothing.

Like Gabriella before her, Francis’ real love Sophia has fled SW3 because “she just couldn’t be in Chelsea”. All that partying and posing has taken its toll. She has left Francis – but told Proudlock she is confused about her feelings towards Boulle (please can this storyline from series 4 not become a recurrent theme again).

Even Mark Francis had to flee Sloane Square in this episode. He took the very-made-up Victoria to The Design Museum, but the poor fledgling could have been in Southend she was so East of Chelsea. “What are we doing here in SE… something?” she asked. Then when news emerged that Mark Francis was no longer living off daddy’s money and had got a job editing a magazine (no doubt full of posers and also funded by daddy’s money) Victoria suggested they celebrate with a high five “for both being working people”. To their credit, at least they didn’t crack out the champers.

The teaser for the next episode shows Jamie, Lucy and the gang hitting the slopes and kicking back with a cocktail in the jacuzzi for a bit of après ski. I wonder what Iain Duncan Smith would have to say about their lack of employment.

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