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Made in Chelsea – Series 5, Episode 11: Louise plays and wins at Spencer’s game

Daisy Wyatt

mic 6 300x225 Made in Chelsea – Series 5, Episode 11: Louise plays and wins at Spencers gameSPOILERS: Do not read this if you have not seen series 5, episode 11 of ‘Made in Chelsea’

It’s hard not to feel sorry for doe-eyed  Andy. He spends months pining after Louise, has huge nostrils, endures many an awkward drink with Spencer, then finally gets his hands on the prize to find she’s more interested in snapchatting her night of sleepover passion away with Rosie.

Whoever would have thought the teary-eyed undergrad could cheat on anyone, let alone lie about it to her boyfriend’s face. She’s obviously learned well from the school of Spencer.

And as if meeting up with a boy you’ve only ever barely flirt-texted with wasn’t naff enough, the guy doesn’t even live in Chelsea! Being chauffeur driven in a Merc to the Surrey/London border does not make up for that.

They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery and it looks like Louise’s not-so-innocent sleepover has impressed Spencer. He flew in the face of Lucy’s ire to tell her over the Laing family kitchen island that he will “always love her”.

But Louise’s (alleged) infidelity happened off-camera, an annoying trend that has continued throughout the series. FirstSpencer cheated on Louise in Louise’s bed, then Spencer and Louise started sleeping together off-screen after their breakup, and now Louise has “shat all over” her relationship with Andy without the viewer knowing what’s really gone on. It doesn’t make for satisfying TV.

And when did Millie Mackintosh become the bastion of morality in Chelsea? It’s like she’s an omniscient Victoria narrator, judging from on high. It seems the security of being engaged to Professor Green has lent a certain holier-than-thou-ness to her character, which has otherwise been pretty bland all series.

It took a talking to from Millie for Louise to even apologise to Andy. The line “it’s just not how you treat someone, knowing how you felt by Spencer” obviously hit where it was meant to hurt and Louise cried on cue. It’s good that Mille, Rosie & co feel they can give Louise a piece of their mind, but sometimes it feels like the older prefects telling off a quivering, misled year seven.

Obviously no wade-in judgment would be complete without Cheska, who seems to have resurrected her friendship just in time with Binky to do a bit of doggie yoga before wagging her tongue about Andy being “used”. And yes, barking mad doggie yoga really does exist in real life. All size dogs welcome; pre-booking essential; minimum spend £16.

Cheska continued to wag her mouth off around town about Ollie and Fran, the strangest new fling since Andy and Binky. Ollie has seemingly rediscovered his libido since finishing things with Ashley. Maybe he didn’t find her blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs and long legs that attractive after all. Quite refreshing really.

Another odd liaison is forming in the shape of Stevie and Spencer. Poor Stevie was kept up all night to the sweet sounds of Lucy and Spencer, to then be confronted with an early morning competition about the size of his tackle. Which, Spenny confirmed, must be far smaller than his. Of course.

All things considered, episode 11 had the action-packed drama the previous two lacked. It may have taken Millie five series to realise that Chelsea is “so incestuous”, but as the episode closed to her ominous narration “there’s no trust and there’s no respect anymore” with shots of the two golden couples kissing, you know the finale next week is going to be big.

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