We get a lot of good offers here at The Independent, but I like to think of February 14th as the day that PR companies really up their game. Not only do they begin every telephone conversation with the heart-warmingly chirpy "Happy Valentines! So how many roses did you get this year?", but they send through a veritable flurry of press releases - so much so that the IT department had to ring and ask if it was spam. I know! Now that's popularity.
But it's not all sweet talk and phone-tag - said releases offer all kinds of useful information. What have we learned? Well, the Tory party's Jeremy Hunt has been voted the nation's "Most Fanciable MP"; Nuts has commissioned a study that shows men "like their football club more than their girlfriends" (and have a spokesperson available to "speak passionately about the issues"), and British women think about sex every 14 minutes... but think about marriage and babies more! (Missed that poll? Funny. Me too...).
But best of all are the products they advertise. All for Valentines day! So for those of you who've yet to dash out and pay your way out of domestic discontent, here are some suggestions. All, I'm sure you'll agree, absolute must haves...
Oven Pride for Microwaves:
Yes, really. Love, they say, is a mysterious thing. Which may (although, quite possibly may not) explain Oven Pride
MD Matt Stockdale's belief that few things are "more romantic than your
partner coming home to find you've cleaned the microwave without any
prompting."
Tickets to the British touring car championship:
"Dirty movies, crashes and controversy" are, says Rockingham racing circuit, "the perfect alternative to the usual chocolates and flowers."
A Crimson Kokeshi Doll:
Capable, apparently, "of melting her heart" - and especially effective if she's underage. Visit Crimosnclothes.com.
Transform Lip Enhancement:
And why not? As Transform's
press office reminds us, "Plump luscious lips ooze youth and sex
appeal" as well as "playing a very crucial role in foreplay."
An 'emosdnah olleH' tie:
Er, that's Hello Handsome, only... backwards. Novel, no? From Gary Baker at the Tie Warehouse:
"You often find offices where there is a flirty friendship between two
people. This tie is a harmless way to move it off email." Professional!
Selfridges' "bun for all occasions":
Hot on the heels of their Champagne Marmite,
Selfridges brings us the Easter/Valentines/Mother's Day bun. Included
in the press release: "Five facts about the hot cross bun." Fun!
A gym membership:
Because, apparently, "84% find it
attractive watching the opposite sex getting hot whilst working out."
Not yet suitably creeped-out? Visit Leisurejobs.co.uk for information.
Quality article.
More of the same please.
Posted by: leslie | Friday, 15 February 2008 at 04:37 PM