Happy New Year! Today, in case you were wondering, is day five of the fortnight-long Chinese New Year, which means that it's officially time to consume as much MSG as is humanly possible.
But before you start, a reminder that New Year is about more than just additives. That's right, behind every New Year's cloud, there's a silver resolution, and the Year of the Rat is no exception (though it does provide us with endless possibilities for artistic interpretation. I'm thinking year of the love rat, year of the pack rat, year of the rat's tail. All charming, no?). And as everyone knows, January's just for quitters so what feeble resolutions you made then are bound to be abandoned by now. So what better time than mid-February to start the process again? It'll be like Sisyphus, the sequel.
All of which goes some way in explaining the rather unusual trend
that's registered on our radar this week: all the best celebrities are
having makeovers. Haven't you noticed?
It all began with Paris Hilton's metamorphosis from socialite to celebrated academic. Yes, you read correctly: this week the Harvard Lampoon did what we've all longed to do and named Paris Hilton their Woman of the Year. Any irony that may or may not have been present was clearly lost on the Times; they took the heiress' rebranding a step further - by making her their quote of the day. ("Life", apparently, "is too short to blend in.")
Though perhaps the Times is onto something; Paris' non-conformist sentiment is clearly shared by everyone's favourite presidential-candidate-but-one, Barak Obama, who this week made his stage debut in the 'political horror rock musical' Barackular. (Sample lyric: I'm running, I'm running / I'm running for my very life / Keep running and running/ Cos those suckers won't make me immortal.) I know, right? This guy is tal-en-ted.
As are, of course, songstresses Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, whose makeovers are similarly boundary-breaking. With his gum and wood portraits of the girls, Canadian artiste Jason Kronenwald brings new meaning to the words bubble-gum pop. But he's not the only one glamourising Britney. Both Blender and Rolling Stone have done their best, making over 'troubled' Britney to resemble sane Britney-Blender with the help of a naked body double. Touching, isn't it?
So, yeah. Like I said: Happy New Year y'all!
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