Boris Johnson knows his limitations
They say: "My chances of becoming Prime Minister are about as good as the chances of my being reincarnated as an olive."
We say: Yeah ok, very funny. But please god don't let him be mayor
Julie Burchill's not a fan of Madonna
They say: "Turning 50 as she does in a few months, the question is perhaps worth asking: what did we do to deserve this?"
We say: For the love of God, nothing.
British men are failing to satisfy
They say: "More and more relationships are now under strain because he's the one feigning a headache, while the wife is starved of sex."
We say: Thank God for Nick Clegg.
Chrissy Hynde believes what comes around goes around
They say: "I avoid eating or using any products that involve animals, because I believe if you kill them, they will kill you."
We say: Yeah, us too.
The early 60s are making a comeback
They say: "Men in slim black ties, women in clingy sweaters and pencil skirts. Why can't all offices look like this?"
We say: Because there's more to a woman than a clingy sweater?
Gary Rhodes has beefed up
They say: "Gary Rhodes has just unveiled his super-buff body in the latest issue of Men's Health, and frankly, it's quite frightening... Thank goodness for Jeremy Clarkson and his distinctively un-va-va-voom potbelly."
We say: Why?
Alexa Chung has her own girl gang
They say: "Gangs, or teams, of friends are the official Generation Y equivalent of private members' clubs."
We say: Quick! Write a trend piece!
Working women use presentation as power
They say: "You know the type – knockout looks and a knockout punch in the boardroom. We meet three women who wouldn't dream of doing a million-dollar deal in less than 4in heels."
We say: But they all work in fashion!
Footwear is tribalising
They say: "This season, fashion is dominated by two opposing shoe tribes
- the vertiginous wedge wearers (see Kate Moss, Cheryl Cole and Sienna)
and the ballet-flats fans (Carla Bruni)
We say: We know which we are. But do you?
Eco-consciousness may be the new It-bag
They say: "The difference between your basic Y2K celebrity and the new
improved eco-celeb is that the new one has her privates papped getting
out of a Prius."
We say: That's pap as in paparazzi, right?
(Photo: Getty Images)
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