Johansson plays a free-spirited young American who visits Barcelona and ends up in a menage a trois with Bardem and Cruz. Why Allen thought its commercial prospects would be helped by having Johansson and Cruz share a torrid kiss is anyone’s guess...

It comes as no surprise that VCB is part-funded by the city of Barcelona, because at its worst, it’s an extended tourist ad: every other minute, the voice-over is telling us how characters visited a sweet shop or restaurant and were delighted to find it “charming and delightful”.

It’s coffee-table cinema, to be sure, and slightly less sparkling than a good glass of Cava - but occasionally there’s the odd Woody zinger, and it all momentarily seems worthwhile. “If you don’t start undressing me soon,” Johannson’s Cristina tells Bardem, “this is going to turn into a panel discussion.”

Spotted around town US docu-maker/prankster Morgan Spurlock, who recently asked, Where In the World is Osama bin Laden? He can’t be looking for him in Cannes, surely? Well, think again. Possibly the safest hiding place on earth for OBL would be on the Croisette, dressed as an Osama bin Laden lookalike and posing motionless all day for the odd Euro.

Meanwhile, also in town was Spurlock’s older (at least larger) and better, Michael Moore. Rumours abound that he’s working on his next film, Where In the World is Morgan Spurlock? ***