One cake, five minutes, and a small array of icing accessories were all that were allowed in this year's "Ice-Off" between London's top chefs and restaurant critics to mark the tenth anniversary of Restaurants Against Hunger, the food-lover's spin-off of Action Against Hunger at the opening celebrations of Taste of London in Regent's Park.
Luckily, we were each allowed one secret ingredient as well, so I chose strawberries-and-cream (note that the hyphen makes it one thing) because I can't do the icing thing very well. Neither could anyone else, it turns out.
I slathered Cornish cream over mine, covered it in fresh strawberries and candles and hoped for the best.
Next to me, Tom Parker Bowles turned his cake into a very fine Stonehenge with a few Mars Bars, Charles Campion did something with golden balls, Aldo Zilli nicked everyone else's accessories, Michel Roux Junior did gold leaf and calligraphy and Pascal Aussignac of Club Gascon added fernery, flowers, fruit and ribbons to turn his cake into a Chav-tastic Ascot hat complete with floppy brim.
Judge Pru Leith gave the gong to Pascal Aussignac with my strawberries coming second. Whatever could she have been thinking?
The cakes may be scoffed, but there are still plenty of opportunities to eat yourself silly at the Taste of London food festival, which runs until Sunday.
There are cooking demos, book signings, wine tastings, you name it, but it's the chef groupies who have the most fun, because all the top chefs are actually there in person working their butts off getting food out.
What looked good? Arbutus' braised pig's head, Benares' chicken tikka, China Tang's Peking Duck, Le Cafe Anglais' parmesan custard, Salt Yard's smoked monkfish with jamon iberico and Refetterio's tortellini with pork ragout.
And if you visit the Action Against Hunger stand (R8), you can even do a "carb-offset" by making a donation.
A Taste of London, Regent's Park, London, 19-22 June. Ticket hotline: 08712307133
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