A Nice Green Leaf: Gnome Nation
In a pleasant change of mood from the discussion of ever-falling house prices, The Independent today tackles the question of what makes Britain great.
Apparently quite a lot of what makes up our stout national character relates to gardening: the list includes Allotments (which "show that self-sufficiency might lead to the possibility of sleeping with Felicity Kendal"), Rude Vegetables and of course Gnomes, which "some say have mystical powers".
You what?
Sadly, most of the commenters on the main web page are taking it way too seriously. Angry posts about traffic, litter and (best of all) "imagrants" and "Mosks". Mmm. Learn to spell, and then maybe I'll bother reading it.
On the other hand, fish and chips, jaffa cakes and "proper sandwiches", I like a bit better as explanations of our national appeal. But on my list (obviously from a fairly horticultural angle) would also be:
Pub window boxes: Come on now! Where else in the world have you ever been where establishments selling booze took so much care over the gardening? It's like making a gingerbread house to tempt in small children, it's saying "come in and drink, we mean you no harm, you will be safe with us. Cirrhosis? What's that? Mm, look at this busy lizzie and stop thinking such depressing thoughts."
Municipal bedding: Say what you like, no one does it like us. Okay, Jeff Koons made a dog out of flowers in Bilbao. But that's like post-modern and stuff. I'm talking about proper old-fashioned Britain in Bloom. The vicious competition, the night time strikes on the enemy, the lifetime rivalry: it's just so, well, British.
Sissinghurst: There's a reason this is the most visited garden in England. It has romanticism, history, great planting, and lesbians. Thousands of coachloads are not disappointed, because it's one of the most magical places on earth.
But there's still so many things to mention. Chelsea Flower Show! Lawns! the W.I.!
What would you add? Remember now, no going-on about "Pollish" people.
You forgot to mention Floral Clocks: a wonderfully ludicrous invention. I always like the idea that anybody weeding them would have to jump in the air to avoid the sweeping second hand every minute. A sort of very slow skipping. (Probably they just turn the thing off which it not nearly as interesting).
Posted by: JamesA-S | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 08:54 AM
Giant vegetable shows (that's shows involving giant veg rather than huge shows). Where else can you see people drooling over marrows the size of a small family car?
Having looked through the list on the original article, I was shocked to be exposed to a photo of the Archers. I do try to go through my life without encountering such photos in case my carefully built up mental pictures are dashed. Although I have met Eddie & Joe Grundy.
Posted by: HappyMouffetard | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 08:54 AM
Fellow walkers saying hello to you when you are out hiking in the countryside. They don't do it in other countries and look at you with great suspicion as you do the cheery "Morning" bit.
Posted by: Arabella Sock | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 03:58 PM
Fellow walkers saying hello to you when you are out hiking in the countryside. They don't do it in other countries and look at you with great suspicion as you do the cheery "Morning" bit.
Posted by: Arabella Sock | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 04:34 PM
So good she said it thrice ;-)
Actually, we went walking in Austria, and everyone said Gruss Gott to each other. Mind you, by the end of the week, we had the suspicion that most of the people saying Gruss Gott were English.
Posted by: HappyMouffetard | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 07:15 PM
And sheds. Don't forget sheds.
Posted by: Jakers | Friday, 29 August 2008 at 10:45 PM
I think Arabella was kindly just trying to get the number of comments up. Floral Clocks! yes! They can only be weeded by men with indiana Jones-type skills
Saying hello on walks is great isn't it? And giant veg competitions. And sheds, yes, but having been reading (for what seems like an interminable spell) "Allotted Time" I can't telllllll you how bored I am of them building the shed. It feels like they've built it five times over. Well in fact they have, because first they built it in the garage, then bits of it keep falling down, I mean honestly, and now they are building a greenhouse and I've almost lost the will to live.
Do they have hanging baskets as good as ours in other countries?
Posted by: emma townshend | Saturday, 30 August 2008 at 09:58 AM
Not guilty! Again. Honestly. I only posted it once and I certainly didn't come back half an hour later and post it again twice.
I think hanging baskets in other countries are good but less innovative. However roundabouts in other parts of europe have more exciting plantings and sculpture.
Posted by: Arabella Sock | Sunday, 31 August 2008 at 10:19 AM
I haven't read the article but would add:
Worcester sauce, one of the great inventions of the world.
bobble hats, surely they must be British?
cream teas, especially in Devon, especially my mother's.
The Antiques Roadshow, with or without Michael Aspel.
pubs, yes, love the window boxes, but just pubs as long as they don't have music or slot machines.
small scale agricultural shows and large ones too, for that matter. The Royal Welsh Show this year was the best day out imaginable, huge black bulls, galloping Welsh cobs, blacksmiths, ice cream, giant tractors.
gin and tonic.
Women's Institutes.
crumpets.
Gardener's World.
Lime pickle.
Posted by: elizabethm | Sunday, 31 August 2008 at 01:36 PM
Man-size tissues. You honestly can't get these anywhere else in Europe (well I never have) they are always those silly little boxes of 'one blow and they're done' stuff.
Posted by: Arabella Sock | Sunday, 31 August 2008 at 07:16 PM
Marmite, pikelets, marmalade, kedgereree,cucumber sandwiches, high tea, afternoon tea, village fetes, horticultural societies, pubs, lager louts, Pimms!!!! we can't forget that!
Posted by: Zoë | Saturday, 13 September 2008 at 06:37 PM