At last – a solution to my Boris blues! I have just forced myself to read the detailed election stats from last Thursday. It seems the media cliché is true: it’s the angry, whiter outer suburbs that elected Boris, out of rage with the congestion charge and council tax. Boris will forever be the mayor of Zones Four to Six, the chief executive of Watford and Bromley and Amersham.
But here in Zones One to Three – in the areas the world thinks of as London – Ken won by big margins. We are the ones who don’t drive: 60 per cent of us don’t have a car. We are the ones who depend on Ken’s improved buses whizzing along decongested roads. We are the people who will host the Olympics, and get blown up when fanatics come to town. We are the thumping heart of London.
So here’s my plan. Those of us in Zones One to Three should declare independence and establish the Livingstonite Republic of Central London. Let Boris have Watford; we have the whole world in one city – our city. In the Ealing comedy ‘Passport to Pimlico’, one slice of London declares independence to escape wartime rationing; why can’t we do it to escape Boris? Let’s remake Braveheart, with Ken cast as Mel Gibson. Say it nasally, and say it proud: Cry freedom, Londoners! Freeeeedom!
Still sucking-up to the man who congratulated Sir Ian Blair on the premeditated slaying of Jean de Menezes?
Cops organise pre-arranged gun killings of those they believe might be guilty of unspecific offences... and you back that, do you, Johann??
Posted by: Neil McGowan | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 10:58 AM
Johann - you are a complete muppet
http://croydonian.blogspot.com/2008/05/do-liberal-journalists-or-their-editors.html
Of those three places, only Bromley is part of Greater London and was able to vote Boris. Watford and Amersham are not within zones 1-6 either.
Further, results are not available at a depth greater than constituency level, and the only constituency which is wholly within zones 1-2 is West Central, also known as Westminster, K&C and Hammersmith and Fulham - 54.8% for Boris. The seat that gave Livingstone his strongest showing - City & East - stretches all the way to deeply chic Dagenham, which is zone 5.
Posted by: CROWN | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 11:34 AM
'Crown' beat me to it.
People in Watford and Amersham may love Boris but they sure didn't get to vote for him.
Posted by: Kevin Davis | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 01:59 PM
Muppet is not the word. As I pointed out on my blog after reading Croydonian's post, the worst thing is Hari seems to think that zone four is a veritable paradise. Try going to SE18 and telling all the people living on sink estates that because they live in Zone 4 they should be ignored. Not only does Hari not know his geography of Lodnon, he doesn;t have a clue what the outer boroughs really look like and just assumes "suburbia, must be lovely and middle class" there.
Posted by: dizzy | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 02:19 PM
Hi thicko,
What chicken dung are you on? Watford in London? Amersham in London?
Woolwich not to be considered part of London? Is the little ghetto inhabited by Guardianistas and would be Guardianistas like thicko the only London which should rule the lesser classes?
toodle pip!
Posted by: dai | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 04:06 PM
Watford is solidly Lib Dem so it's a bit arrogant of you to hand it over to Boris!
And maybe the outer boroughs are fed up with paying for Ken and you to spend their money on the Olympics which central, "real" London will be hosting, according to you.
Posted by: An Old Boy | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 04:20 PM
And Passport to Pimilico was set in post-war London.
Posted by: dai | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 04:25 PM
So you're upset because Ken lost but all the people you know in Zone 1 voted for him. This suggests you know a rather limited range of people. Is this a good thing for a journalist?
Posted by: archroy | Tuesday, 06 May 2008 at 05:46 PM
archroy i happy to know johann's dad, who is a bus driver. i can assure you johann knows people a logn way from zone one, and lots of them!
Posted by: Andrew | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh dear. This is one of the most pathetic articles I've seen in a long time.
With such a poor grasp of geography and politics, I'm amazed that anyone was foolish enough to employ you on a national newspaper.
You're the sort of person who howls about "sad days for democracy" simply because your chosen candidate didn't win.
I have news for you, mate. The Mayor of London is what it says it is - "of London" - and London voted overwhelmingly for Boris. Regardless of the reasons why, he got the voters out and beat Livingstone.
Now how about you head back to school and do some learning.
Posted by: Craig Barrett | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 10:03 AM
I should have thought of this back in 1997. I could have cheered myself up had I but realised that while the UK as a whole may have voted Labour, it was only on the back of votes from outside of the South East (apart from London) and East Anglia.
Posted by: Sean Fear | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 02:36 PM
An insane and geographically challenged summation of events.
Face facts:
(1) Ken was an arrogant man who treated London as though he owned it and fell way short of acceptable standards in public life, be it his strange anti-semitic remarks or his funding of dubious groups.
(2) Brian Paddick could not get any traction for whatever reason.
(3) The anti-Ken vote therefore gathered around Boris Johnson who offered policies on crime, transport, the environment and accountability/fiscal responsibility that people wanted to hear.
Places like Wandsworth and Hammersmith and Fulham turned out for Boris Johnson and they are part of central London.
Now put your toys back in your pram.
Posted by: alex | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 02:50 PM
It is a reasonable expectation that the writer, the sub editor and the Editor actually checks an article for facts such as what is and what is not a voting area for the London Mayor.
Why does the Independent not do this properly?
Posted by: James | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 03:01 PM
Johann,
Let's see, apart from Watford and Amersham not being in London, you'll find large parts of Central London voted for Boris while areas in outer London voted for Ken.
And you get paid to write things like this, amazing.
Posted by: Ralph | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 03:05 PM
Johann Hari declares independence from reality.
Posted by: Matt | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 03:20 PM
It's a blog, pillocks. Relax; do you think "Cry freedom, Londoners! Freeeeedom!" can really be said without at least a little of the tongue in cheek? Grow a sense of humour, Tories.
Posted by: bill | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 03:45 PM
I agree, clearly this is a mildly amusing escapist blog from the horror of what is now real life...
Maybe they are just scared that we will actually declare independence... It does sound tempting.
Posted by: Sarah | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 04:37 PM
Says a lot about the quality of recent Oxbridge candidates that they are unable to read a map.
Posted by: Ian C | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 06:29 PM
I thought that Johann Hari was on the list of Guardian lefties that were promising to leave London if Boris won,why is he still here?
By the way does he still think he's writing for the varsity magaxine with this sort of drivel?
Posted by: john | Wednesday, 07 May 2008 at 10:12 PM
god what self pitying drivel. So typical of the liberal inteligensia 'they didn't vote the way i would of voted and im so much more intelligent then them so they must be worng' try reading the blog http://devilskitchen.me.uk/2008/05/theyre-voting-wrong.html for a real view of your self pitying naval gazing. Now thats how a blog should really be written.
Posted by: kris nicol | Thursday, 08 May 2008 at 11:46 AM