On Tuesday night Madonna brought her MDNA tour to England, performing a show in Hyde Park that was witty, narrative and relentlessly energetic, as well as the ridiculous spectacle you would expect from the Queen of Pop.
I admit it: I’m a liberal stereotype. I have no sense of humour. Or at least, there’s obviously something wrong with it.
The inequalities between men and women in the UK speak for themselves but the endless competition and bickering between the champions of women’s rights and men’s rights hinders progress towards equality because it distracts their attention away from the bigger picture.
Mail Online, the more insistent, bitchier spawn of the Daily Mail, is now the most visited newspaper site in the world. Its 45 million or so monthly visitors tune in for its unique mixture of human tragedy: “Pensioner watched in horror as husband choked to death on sample of free ham at Sainsbury’s deli counter,” and hope: “mollusc mucustouted to beat wrinkles.” But neither of these are the real draw. The reason why Mail Online has been so spectacularly successful is because it has perfected a genius formula for peddling misogyny, a formula as addictive as crack.
Life as a woman is difficult. The diet of salad and Ryvita; the pressure at work to play with Maltesers in a coquettish manner; the endless hours spent worrying about being bloated, consuming endless tubs of yoghurt. If there’s one thing advertising tells us about women, it’s that we bloody love yoghurt.
Odd Future have done me a favour. I was watching “Rella”, the new video by the Californian rap outfit, and there it was, at 1:22: a smack delivered to a woman’s face so hard that her head snapped to one side.
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